Focus on the Family Community: Relationships and Marriage ...

I have been having issues with my marriage for a while. My wife seems disinterested and distant in our marriage. For the most part I? have only talked with a counselor and no one else.? I don't have anyone else to turn to that knows my wife and the situation.? By chance I ran into a friend of my wife who knows her well and through some meaningless chat she said "your wife is a very angry person".? I said "at me" or in general?? She said in general. Her friend is a very educated professional woman so I respect her opinion.?? I totally agreed with her. My wife's mother recently passed away and my wife has some significant guilt as well as some painful past hurts.? She has always been one to hold everything inside and respond in negative ways to those around her especially her loved ones.?? My wife tells me she doesnt know what she wants but she doesn't love me. I have tried everything to help our marriage.? She has pulled away from God and just seems mad all the time.? I told her friend I cant do anything right.? I cant even make her a cup of coffee without her complaining. She resents any act of kindness I do for her.? We have had a very good marriage upto a couple of years ago.? I have not cheated, nor has she according to her friend.

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Her friend wants to get my wife into counseling (by herself).?? She told me to back away from my wife and just be her friend,? that anything I do is a catalyst for her anger.?? We both agree her anger is compiled from many issues of the past and I happen to be in the crosshairs.?? This is very hard. I know my wife is hurting.? Its natural for me to want to help but she doesn't want it.

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What I am confused about is how far do I back away.? It is hard to be there part of the time.? I am real nervous on how to back off and not send a signal I am abandoning her.? I dont know how to let go without appearing selfish?

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I have always thought this is a spiritual warfare.? My wife's heart and our marriage is being attacked by satan because she is vulnerable.? She is hearing the lies satans is speaking that is fueling her anger.? Please pray my wife that she is surrounded by a hedge of protection and can rebukes satans attack.

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